I'm Back....And Balder Than Ever

Well, hello there!

I know, I know.  It's been a long time.  I just want you to know that it's not you, it's me.  I've been neglecting my adventure notation and unkindly left blogging behind.

But as the fates would have it: I'm back!

And bald!  That's right, not necessarily better, but definitely balder.  Oh what a long strange year it's been so far.

Here's a quick round up:

Went skydiving

Bought some pizzas

Celebrated some holidays

Had a birthday

Celebrated others' birthdays

Grocery shopped

Worked

Slept

Adventured

Laughed

Loved

Shaved my head

Bought some chocolate

Had a couple of surgeries

Went to a funeral

Found a sister

and a whole lot more!

Anyway, so now that I have a few weeks off of work to recuperate from some surgical procedures, I decided to start writing again.  Lucky all of us!

Missed you...

Oh goody!

8/15: Stripping May Not Be A Good Idea

Tonight, Deborah and I went on several adventures.  We visited the bank, had some ice cream, visited the Ypsi Heritage Fest and most importantly, applied to become a stripper.

What?!

Okay, so I've talked about dancing for a while now.  I think it is a pretty interesting profession and I've heard you can earn quite a few ducats.  I'm also quite shy about my body so it seems like a great way to get over myself, conquer a fear, blah blah blah.

Well, the idea is much more appealing than the reality.

On our way through Dearborn to catch a couple of Drive-In flicks, we happened across a little strip club very tastefully named "Chicks on Dix." (the name of the street, of course)

I originally just wanted a photo of the sign because I thought it was so vulgarly hilarious.  But wait, oh wait, there was another sign for "Dancers Wanted."

We made our way to the door, I said I wanted to apply to be a dancer, the doormen let me in to talk to the manager.  He interviewed me on the spot!  What the f**k?!  I totally don't look like the "dancin" type, but I guess I did have on a cute little dress outfit that made my chest look a little bit bigger than reality.  We sat at a table where the kind gentleman began to ask me some questions.

"What do you do?" I'm a chef

"Where do you live?" About 45 minutes away

"Have you ever danced before?" No

"Any dancing lessons?" No

"Why do you want to dance?" I've always thought it seemed like fun and I could use the extra money

"No tap, ballet?" No, is that a problem?

"No, not at all."

What?!  Not a problem that I have no dancing experience and quite frankly cannot for the life of me do the marimba to the left?  People have laughed as I tried, it is impossible.

So, it really seemed like this guy was interested.  My thought process became: how the hell do I get out of this one?  

Finally, my loophole presented itself before an audition could take place.  He needed someone at least 4 nights a week and I could only promise to commit to 1 with my busy work schedule.  We shook hands and he graciously took me to the door.  I asked if I could take the application with me, just in case, and he told me no.

So much for my stripping career.

8/8: Graham Crackers & Cheesecakes

I practice cooking different things quite often.  I'll get in a mood where I only do sauces, then I'll get more specific and only do tomato sauces, white sauces, etc.  Lately, my mood has been working w/ creams and more specifically desserts.

I am obsessing over making an amazing cheese cake.

Today, I decided to make a regular old graham cracker crust cheese cake.  I started on the crust and realized that I love crumbling graham crackers.  It feels freeing to completely destroy them and mush them in the bottom of a pie pan.

I found that I started just crumbling them for fun.

Do you need some graham cracker dust?  I have a lot and you can have it for free.  Cheesecake not included.

8/2: Lindsey Lohan is Gay?!

Fabulous news!  I am once again behind, but this time I am filled w/ the glee of learning some exciting new news.  I spent most of the morning online researching this new found information and am happy.  So very happy.

She's in love w/ a girl.  Kissing a girl.  Living w/ a girl.  Girl Girl Girl.

And Sam Ronson seems pretty fucking killer.

Good job Lindsey.  Good job Sam.  Good job genetics.

Why do I care?  Well, first off:  Love when celebrities come out.  Makes them seem a bit more real.  Second: crushing on Ms. Lohan since Mean Girls.  3rd: Like Lindsey so much I've watched "I Know Who Killed Me"  three times.

Awesome ladies.  Simply awesome.

8/1: Car Tires

I changed a car tire today!  

That may not seem like much, but honestly, have you done it?  I mean, without help or AAA?

The caravan took a nail last week and I have been hesitant to change the tire myself.  Last time I tried to change a tire, I had to jump up and down on the nut thingy (see my expertise?) to loosen the bolts.  Needless to say, I did not fair well and had to get some professional help.

Today, I decided to take on the challenge without help.  I know someone would have been willing to change it for me.  I just didn't want to pay.  I also wanted to overcome the fear of being "just a girl" who should stick to "girly things."

Side note, what the fuck does that mean?  I've had several guy friends throughout my life offer to do "guy things" for me.  Pound in nails, break tree branches, change oil, etc. etc.  I know I'm a chick and not very big, but I've done my share of roughneck stuff.  I know that all this comes from a place of love, but seriously, when did being a chick limit my ability to use a screw driver or mow a lawn?

Anyway, it did take about three hours and yes, I had to use my full body weight to create enough leverage to pry the bolts off, but I did it!

I did it!  

Even better, my spare is a full size tire so I can be lazy and take forever to get the other one repaired.

Not bad for a chick.  Though, I was not a fan of all the dirt.  Eewwwwy, dirt.

7/30: George Carlin Died?

Where have I been?  George Carlin died?  I did not know about this.  Did someone tell me?  

Man, I am so out of touch with the world. 

I forgot it was July.

I thought George Carlin was sweet.  RIP George Carlin.

7/29: Lame, Lame, Lame

I don't know about you, but I work for one of those departments that believes the key to employee morale is through donut carts and kudos candy bars.

I'm not trying to bitch, but some days it can get you down.  I'm not saying I don't enjoy donuts, as evidenced by last blog.  I, in fact, love donuts, I'm just saying donuts are great but so are other things.

We had a team building exercise for our planning and guiding team retreat today.  Okay, first off: planning and guiding team retreat?  Doesn't that sound like a regular old hoot nanny.  Not only did I have to stop my work day to do this, but it gets the name retreat?  The word retreat has "treat" in it.  When I think of treat, I think of a massage or a great piece of chocolate, not a 3 hour escapade into the team building of a work group.

Not everything about this day was terrible.  Overall, I did enjoy the time spent with my colleagues and gained a fresh perspective on our team's importance to the department as a whole.

But....not a fan of team building exercises like pretending to be a working machine with your peers in front of a bunch of people who already don't take you seriously and some of whom you wouldn't wave hello to on the street let along spend your afternoon with.

This may be fun for others, others that may not spend weekends going to fantastic concerts or exploring their local communities free oddball offerings.  These others are not me.  

Our machine was not cool, we only had three people and I was totally embarrassed.

I am a whiny little bitch sometimes.  Ego hurt, pride falls, etc. etc.

I learned that I need to work on this.  Just maybe not as a vending machine.