8/15: Stripping May Not Be A Good Idea

Tonight, Deborah and I went on several adventures.  We visited the bank, had some ice cream, visited the Ypsi Heritage Fest and most importantly, applied to become a stripper.

What?!

Okay, so I've talked about dancing for a while now.  I think it is a pretty interesting profession and I've heard you can earn quite a few ducats.  I'm also quite shy about my body so it seems like a great way to get over myself, conquer a fear, blah blah blah.

Well, the idea is much more appealing than the reality.

On our way through Dearborn to catch a couple of Drive-In flicks, we happened across a little strip club very tastefully named "Chicks on Dix." (the name of the street, of course)

I originally just wanted a photo of the sign because I thought it was so vulgarly hilarious.  But wait, oh wait, there was another sign for "Dancers Wanted."

We made our way to the door, I said I wanted to apply to be a dancer, the doormen let me in to talk to the manager.  He interviewed me on the spot!  What the f**k?!  I totally don't look like the "dancin" type, but I guess I did have on a cute little dress outfit that made my chest look a little bit bigger than reality.  We sat at a table where the kind gentleman began to ask me some questions.

"What do you do?" I'm a chef

"Where do you live?" About 45 minutes away

"Have you ever danced before?" No

"Any dancing lessons?" No

"Why do you want to dance?" I've always thought it seemed like fun and I could use the extra money

"No tap, ballet?" No, is that a problem?

"No, not at all."

What?!  Not a problem that I have no dancing experience and quite frankly cannot for the life of me do the marimba to the left?  People have laughed as I tried, it is impossible.

So, it really seemed like this guy was interested.  My thought process became: how the hell do I get out of this one?  

Finally, my loophole presented itself before an audition could take place.  He needed someone at least 4 nights a week and I could only promise to commit to 1 with my busy work schedule.  We shook hands and he graciously took me to the door.  I asked if I could take the application with me, just in case, and he told me no.

So much for my stripping career.